Mother's Day

Mother's Day is approaching. This year, more than ever, I am reflecting on that special, even holy, thing that is motherhood.

I have spent the past 8 months being a mother, changing diapers, wiping tears, coaxing out smiles, protecting from potential dangers and so many times my mind has turned to my own mother. I imagine her holding me tightly, feeding me, rocking me to sleep, gently kissing small hands and feet like I do to Hayden and I just well up with tears. Now I get it. I finally get it. I finally understand how much my mother loves me. And how much her mother loves her. And how much Steve's mom loves him.

Just the other day, my Grandma was laying in a hospital bed, truly fighting for her life and you know what she was doing? She was worrying about us - the family that stood by her bedside, caressing her skin, wiping her face, feeding her ice chips, worrying about her.

"Have you all eaten dinner?" she asked us in between long blinks and the beeps and whirs of hospital machines.

"Grandma, don't worry about us, we're all fine. You're the only one in the ICU worrying about other people! " I responded to her.

"When you're me, and it's Hayden by your side, you'll do the same thing," she told me.

And it hit me again, like a ton of bricks, the love of a mother for her child. It's immeasurable. Incomparable. And hard to understand fully until you experience it yourself.

And so, as I approach my first Mother's Day I want to let my mom know, and my Grandma know, and Steve's mom know how much I appreciate them. And I want to thank God for this gift of motherhood that he has given to me.